my account

My little boy does the majority of the YouTube watching at my house.

Here’s a video that was “recommended” for me on my account.

I never pay too much attention to what YouTube recommends for me.

Most of the recommendations only look like they’re for me, anyway.

It all kind of bleeds together at my house….everybody’s a part of me.

It’s “our space”….even if my guitars and books and music and electronic equipment and….(what else?) kind of monopolizes it.

I have a lot of stuff….gathered up little pile by little pile over the years, I have accumulated.

I do think that a single well placed Lego block….discovered on a smooth floor on a dark morning…makes a bigger immediate impression than piles and piles of grown-up stuff arranged with some loose precision on sagging and overloaded bookshelves.

A Lego block will wake you up with its sharp corners.

Little things have a great deal of power, sometimes.

And these little guys can really fill up a space.

We watched the first two Star Wars movies….actually the fourth and the fifth movies….but the first two that came out back in the 70’s.

Talking about “the force”….always, the “force”.

If I was Yoda, I’d say something cryptic when I saw these kids running around….the big kids, too…..something cryptic like, “Force be strong in young ones….young ones’ force is strong….yes, strong.”

I’m not Yoda. I don’t know how to talk like a wrinkled up old gnome thing.

I’m not a wrinkled up gnome.

These kids can fill up a space.

Yowza, yowza….filling up a space with little kid force.

They probably think that I take up a lot of space.

That would make sense that they’d think that, too.

I guess that I do.

today, today, today,today…..today

P1030377When you’re a child, I don’t think that you spend a lot of time pondering.

You may ponder logistics….like how to get “up there”….where the cookies/toys/large and dangerous knives…..are….but you don’t reminisce….or regret….or worry about the past or the future.

You don’t have much “past” to worry about.

The “past” isn’t part of your repertoire yet…and you can’t read a clock.

You don’t look back in anger.

You live in the moment.

At least, that’s the way I remember it.

It’s early and I just listened to this James Taylor song again and…..

I’m realizing that it might be smart to approach life like a child sometimes.

That “look back in anger” thought isn’t one that I personally visit too often. I’m not angry about anything. Confused, maybe….but not really angry about anything that I can think of.

I don’t have a wealth of regret.

That’s not where my wealth is.

There’s no value in the time I spend pondering things that I can’t change….now that I am years away from them.

It doesn’t do anything for me.

I know that.

Sometimes, though, I can’t help myself. What can I say? I’m a ponderous person.

I watch these kids and everything’s an immediate need.

They are pretty upfront about what they want….right when they want it.

They don’t hold back.

Most of the time that’s good…but sometimes, it gets bad…..fast.

I don’t know how to handle the “fast and bad” part consistently well, though.

I haven’t tried saying things like, “NO….think about it. Remember that time you pitched the fit in the Transformer section at Walmart and we had to carry you out of the store…..kicking and screaming?That was horrible. I will never be able to forgive you for that and I realize that that is who you are. You are a kicker….and a screamer….and a greedy, little toy mongering boy who will never be anything else. I don’t think that I’ll get over this….ever.”

That would suck to say something like that.

What kid deserves to be pigeonholed before they even get a chance to learn “how to be”?

Not any that I know.

There’s a big difference between “that disappointed me” and “you are a disappointment to me”.

And there is a big ditch that’s hard to get over between what I thought I’d be….and what I am.

That’s what it means to be a grown-up, maybe.

You see the ditch everyday…..and turn around and walk the other way.

You don’t stand at the edge and moan about the unreachable “other side”.

Right?

Maybe you just say, “I never wanted to go there, anyway.”

You put on a brave face and pretend that whatever happens to you or around you is part of the wheel you put in motion….something that you orchestrated….part of your “life plan”.

And you hope that you don’t kill anyone when you lose control and hurtle into the ditch.

It’s not good to figure out what “cruise control” is after you’ve rolled the travel trailer ,either.

That’s pretty darn dramatic.

Life’s pretty darn dramatic.

Maybe it’s better to just live like a kid….eat what you want and find all the toys under the couch….and play….play…play.

That’s simple enough for today….let tomorrow take care of itself.

“believe it or not” James Taylor

Will

I heard a rebroadcast of an interview with Pete Seeger this morning and he mentioned how Woody Guthrie came to New York.geer
It was some history that I didn’t know.

Imagine that….some history that I didn’t know.

Apparently, Woody was friends with this guy.

You may remember that he was on the Waltons for a while….a long while.

Read the history…he set Woody up and helped get him his start in New York….even recorded an album with him in 1956.

Pete Seeger first met Woody Guthrie at a concert they were both appearing at in 1940 that was organized by….Will Geer.

There’s a lot more to Will Geer than just being the guy who played Grandpa Walton for 6 seasons.

Check out the Wikipedia article here

I need a pair of bib overalls….fast.

“this land is your land/narration” Odetta, Will Geer, Arlo Guthrie

Run, Spartan…Run

Jenny took our youngest son to a birthday party last week….and I stayed home to take care of the “baby”.

Miracle of miracles, the baby fell asleep for part of the afternoon….and while she rested on my shoulder, I watched this on TV.

Talk about “armchair athlete”….maybe that’s the best I can do right now?

There’s something that approaches “endurance” when you have to stay still with a baby on your shoulder. It’s like a parental form of Pilates or something….it’s hard to stay still when you have to.

This race fascinated me.

All these men and women….crawling around in the mud….running up hills with bags of sand….swimming in the water and climbing ropes and jumping over holes and logs….it fascinated me.

I sat on the couch and held the baby and watched all these athletes do things that I remembered were kind of hard to do.

What an armchair athlete.

What an armchair wannabe.

Did I say “kind of hard to do”?

I meant…..really hard to do.

To see these people cramping up towards the end of these races….probably cramping because of the cold water and the chill of the Vermont mountains and the exertion….made for some good watching as I sat on my comfortable couch in my comfortable house.

I’d rather watch this than watch golf.

I’d rather figure out a way to do this than watch it.

Pretty cool.

the saddest song

This song….originally by George Jones and covered by many competent vocalists through the years….is one of the saddest songs ever recorded.

It is “tear you up sad”.

No joke.

It’s probably the perfect country song….and I guess that if you do or don’t like country music, that thought probably holds true no matter what side of the conversation you’re on.

It’s a big story told in a couple of minutes.

Here’s George singing it….just so you have an idea of how it really sounds.

Sorry, Mountain Man.

more dudes doing a job

Here’s a documentary about the construction of the Alaska Oil Pipeline.

Look up “Peak Oil” and another wormhole opens up….and this video was included in the collection.

Just a bunch of dudes doing a job….and if the Keystone thing goes through, I imagine there’ll be a new bunch out there, “gettin’ it done”.

I drive around.

I live in a house made out of wood.

I like doing both of those things.

I can’t come down on the loggers cutting down forest or the welders connecting big pipes together.

It’s their jobs.

I’d only be increasing my already substantial “hypocrite status” if I came down on the people supplying me with the things that help me enjoy my easy life

I do hope that they’ll leave the forest close to me alone…and that I don’t have a big pipe stretching across my backyard someday.

I can deal with it as long as it all goes down somewhere else.

I don’t want to chain myself to a tree and then drive my vintage VW bus back to the condo when it’s all said and done….after I’ve managed to shut the big project down and get these guys back on the unemployment line.

Of course, I wish that we could come up with some viable alternatives to destroying the environment.

It always seems that the areas that are most beautiful to me….because there aren’t many people around….are the most desirable for the “world rapers” to attack…because there aren’t many people around.

Who’s it going to hurt if nobody lives there, right?

Who’s going to fight the man if nobody’s around to do it?

It’s funny how willing we are to take a dump in our own nests….if it keeps us on the road and keeps the price of gas down.

All these dudes….just trying to continue getting a paycheck…..what are they going to do if we shut some of this stuff down?

Learn how to cook meth?

I do like the wide open spaces, though.

The land looked better without that big pipe rolling across it.

“fight the power” Public Enemy

All this cheap gas! (Burn it while it lasts)

I drive around a lot with my job.

I deliver mail.

My route is over 60 miles per day.

I burn some gas.

I can’t help it.

I burn gas.

AND THE GAS IS GETTING CHEAPER!! JUST IN TIME FOR CHRISTMAS!!! EVERY PENNY THAT GAS GOES DOWN IS ANOTHER DOLLAR IN MY POCKET!!

EVERY DOLLAR IN MY POCKET IS ANOTHER TRIP THAT I COULD NOW AFFORD!!!

I guess that we can thank FRACKING for that.

Fracking must be good to make my oil cheap.

Thank goodness for fracking.

That’s a conclusion that I guess I can arrive at.

I suppose that I should adopt an attitude of “whatever it takes”.

Whatever it takes to get me out on the road and doing what I do unconsciously.

I don’t even worry about the other metal boxes hurtling towards me at 60….or 70….or 80 miles an hour….passing me, going the opposing direction, everyday…..with feet to spare.

No matter that they might be old and falling asleep on their motorized couch….or young and absorbed in the latest cute text (LOL!) from their sorority sister….or challenged in some way that takes their attention away from avoiding the metal box that I am riding down the road.

They might spill some sauce from the McRibb they’re enjoying….and crash into me as they furiously try to get it off their white polyester pants.

Something could happen.

Now, they/them/the ones are talking about the Keystone Pipeline getting “real”.

All this cheap gas….makes me join the folks saying, “GO!!! Give me the cheap gas! Keep me on the road!!”.

Damn the environment! I need progress!! I need motorvation.

I’m kidding….I kind of like the environment.

You can’t back up from some of this damage that we do.

But I like to drive….I like to go places.

I like to stay employed.

I wonder if this cheap gas is just a timely way of convincing us that some of these damaging events….like encouraging the pipeline construction or continuing to expand fracking operations….aren’t really all that bad?

If they make the gas a little cheaper, why not?

We’re swayed by what we have to spend our money on.

Financial concerns are big motivators.

I don’t trust what I can’t really understand.

I’ll still fill up my Jeep when the gas gets cheap.

Here’s a video about Cuba….and how they responded to shortages in gas.

It’s a little more hopeful to see how the people cope with a problem than it is to watch the videos of the Mad Max gas thieves cutting each other up.

wonderland

I went to high school with this guy.

That’s a really irrelevant piece of information.

I don’t know why I mention that occasionally.

I rode Travis Tritt’s school bus, too.

Maybe I should say that Travis rode my school bus.

Maybe I should say that I let Travis Tritt ride my school bus?

I have a friend who’s in a Doritos commercial, too….but that’s irrelevant also.

It’s not something that I’m doing….it’s just another somebody that I know…who’s doing something good.

But I really did go to high school with this guy.

Angie Aparo wrote “Cry”….the “Faith Hill song”.

This song, Wonderland, that he’s performing is a great song….one of many that he’s written.

This performance comes from a show called Turner South that he appeared on a while back.

I remember that Don McLean was on that show….and after he finished performing “American Pie”, I asked Jenny, “Now, who’s going to have to follow that?”.

The answer was….Angie Aparo.

He sang this song.

At some point in the video, you can see June Carter Cash lean over to the person sitting next to her and pay Angie a nice complement.

Anyway….this is a beautiful song…..and…he was this good in High School, too

I know this guy, too….watch for him at the Super Bowl.

Marc Farley….at the Super Bowl.

what eyes?

P1060647My father used to live around here when he was younger….before he moved away and had a family.

I think that my daughter took this picture on a trip out West that we took a couple of summers ago.

I don’t take too many pictures while I’m driving….so I think that it was my daughter who snapped this one.

I get so caught up in living my own life that I forget what other people have experienced.

My father was here….and he saw this.

My father didn’t have a very vocal “poetic soul”.

He wasn’t somebody who talked a lot about what beauty he’d seen in this world.

I remember at his memorial service that his minister said that she’d look up while delivering the lesson and see him sitting in the back row….tearing up a little while hearing the Gospel message one more time.

That was a pretty telling statement for all of us. We knew that part of him.

I have a feeling that he was moved by a lot….but kept quiet about it.

He was never one of those, “Let me tell you….” kind of guys.

He played the hand that he was dealt…but kept his cards close to his vest.

I don’t know where I’m going with this….I guess that maybe I’m feeling sentimental or something….nostalgic.

Maybe what I’m thinking is that by the time you start to understand someone and their experiences a little….they’re gone.

They’re gone and you don’t have a chance to tell them that maybe you can relate to what they went through a little more….because you’re going through some of the same things yourself.

That’s not the kind of conversation you’d probably have, though….even if you could.

It’s clearer what someone means to you when you can’t tell them.

It’s safer somehow when you can keep it all to yourself….and play your own cards close to your own vest.

There is so much beauty out in the world.

Some might think that the world is going to Hell….and maybe if you looked closely enough with the wrong eyes, that may be true.

My father looked out on this beauty….beauty like these hills in this picture….eyes shaded by his hat….and remembered what it was to be here…and know that the world was pretty good.

Sometimes, it’s enough just to “know”.

I guess that you don’t need to talk about everything.

 

glimmer

P1060397

It’s pounding down rain here this morning.

Monday morning and heavy rain are a hard combination at the Post Office.

It’s hard to put the needs of all that paper…the letters, the magazines,the catalogs….and the extra-large, smart-shopper pre-Christmastime packages that come in this time of year….what was I saying? Oh….it’s hard to keep all of that stuff dry. No….it’s hard to not be selfish and put my needs ahead of the paper.

I like dry weather.

Dry and sunny….warm….that makes for an easy day of delivering the mail.

I heard this new Neil Young song on the radio the other day….and it just about broke my heart.

That’s a dangerous thing….to drive around with a broken heart.

Anyway…here’s the song….

“glimmer (orchestral)” Neil Young

Ah, Neil….what the heck? You tryin’ to break my heart or something?

It was pretty sunny a couple of days ago….and now it’s rainy….pounding down rainy.

All of these changes….and the weather is no different.

Like these kids, for example.

It would drive me insane if they stayed little for a really long time.

It would drive me plumb, freaking insane if they stayed little and kept dragging the yogurt…. that I set on the table for a second while I cleaned up their face in between bites….off onto the carpet when I reached down for the wash rag.

That would drive me crazy.

Who’s that stone guy? Sisyphus!!

I’d be like a yogurt based Sisyphus if they stayed little forever.

Sometimes, though, I wish they could stay little for a while.

There is something about innocence that feels really appealing when you’re looking in the rear view mirror….and noticing something that you left behind like forgotten luggage….while you speed along down a one-way highway.

I guess that the thing about a one-way highway, too, is that if you’re on it with a bunch of other vehicles, you really can’t slow down….and it’s hard to pull over to take a rest. You’re pushed to stay with the “flow”….you’ve got to go….go….go.

Somebody’s always tailgating you…beeping their horn, yelling “C’mon!!! COME ON!!! GO!!”

What the heck….you don’t figure out much when you’ve been driving as long as I have….you sure aren’t going to figure out everything when you’re just on the “on ramp”.

You just can’t back up sometimes.

But, you can’t stand still in the middle of the road, either.

I guess that it’s important to pick the right road.

That’s a hard thing to do while you’re trying to pay attention to all this living.

Somebody’s going to knock down some yogurt if you get too distracted for a second.

Watch out.