Woke up this morning and, because I didn’t really feel all that “up to speed”, decided not to run.

I just wasn’t up to feeling the speed this morning.

Better not to risk running with the wind this morning.

So instead of running, I spent an hour trying to figure out how to fix an old Zune MP3 player we have…and then watching a violent movie on the internet that had Chinese subtitles.

So much for trying to have a peaceful Sunday morning.

I don’t know why I gravitate towards the “exciting” and violent movies….maybe it’s because Jenny has the good sense to stay away from them…so when we’re together I don’t have much chance to pollute my mind with violent movie craziness.

Anyway…it was the typical story of a family trying to defend their house against crazy invaders.

That’s kind of like watching movies about killers hiding in the dark woods when you’re prone to spending time outside when the moon isn’t full.

Why fill your mind full of stuff that might give you pause when the only thing you have to worry about is the reality around you?

I’ve seen some bears in the woods…but not too many crazy killers.  Why scare myself?

It’s kind of a “do as I say” situation…sometimes, I write this blog and it’s really just me mulling over what I wish could be.  It might not always have a correlation with what I’m actually up to…it’s what I hope I can figure out.

So a violent movie doesn’t jibe with what I want for myself or my family.

Why open the door to that kind of wackyness?

I checked out “Zero Dark Thirty” from the library…and because people said it was good…that it might be an important and true story…I thought I might enjoy watching it.

I guess “enjoy” is probably the wrong word. I think that I almost felt as though I needed to watch it…like because I’d checked it out, it was a responsibility or something.

Like it was a chore that I had to check off my list now that I’d set the wheels in motion.

I’d “invited” this video into my house, and now I had to ask it to stay for supper.

Well…we watched probably the first couple of minutes of the movie and I realized that I really don’t gain anything from watching some dude torture another man…no matter how necessary and, somehow, “politically correct” everyone else might view it as being.

I’m the “gatekeeper”…no matter how many awards a movie wins, I still have a little bit of power.

I don’t have to press the “open door” button on the DVD player and load something into it that is going to fill my head with violence…especially “based on a true story” violence.

It shouldn’t feel different if it’s “based on a true story”…but somehow it does, if only just a little bit.

I don’t know about a lot of things.  I watch what other people say with such certainty, and I wonder how they got so smart.

How do they know so much about so many different things?

How’d they get to be experts?

How did they get to the point where they are so free with their opinions?

But…one thing I do know for certain.  I can learn to be a lot better about what I let into my head…and I can be better about what I expose my family to.

No matter what the “Oscar committee” says is a magnificent and important piece of art.