I used to climb the ladder on the high dive when we visited the pool…and after I’d gotten to the top and looked at the drop in front of me, I’d occasionally turn around and climb back down.

That’s quite a confession…to reveal that I might be afraid of something.

You have to give me credit for such a brave confession. It takes a lot of courage to reveal something so embarrassing.

Nah…not really. It was embarrassing to climb back down in front of all those people…it’s not so embarrassing to talk about something like that now.

I don’t know why or how I developed a fear of heights…but the fear sticks around. I’m still pretty nervous about being exposed at the edge of the drop.

I’ve been proud of how safe I could keep things….how seldom we had to rock the boat in our recent history.

But you know, it’s easier not to rock the boat when you don’t put it in the water.

It’s not hard to keep your ducks in a row if you limit yourself to one duck.

So maybe it’s time to take a chance?

I’ve been feeling like maybe it’s time to start living for myself.

Sure, we just had a baby. Sure we have a child in college and another to join her in a couple of years. Sure, we should be careful.

Maybe now isn’t the time to do any rocking….unless it’s some “steady rockin” to an old Bob Marley song.

But maybe….maybe….maybe now’s the time for my little red sports car?

It’s on, baby…it ME TIME!!

I’m kidding…hilarious, huh?

Actually, I’m working on something that could be pretty interesting for the family…and it’s kind of a leap.

So we’ll see how everything comes together.

We’ll see if I climb back down the ladder or go right to the edge, take a closer look, and then make the jump.

It’s funny how vividly the climb down the high dive ladder stays in my memory…but the short trip down to the water when I didn’t back down, wind against skin before I hit the surface, doesn’t seem to be as memorable.

That’s the victory…the times I actually followed through and made the jump…but the things I seem to fixate on are the occasional failures.

Weird how that works.

I’ve heard people use the phrase “go big” before…like if you’re going to do something, do it up right…do it like the possibility of failure doesn’t exist, like you know that the first rung of the ladder is just the beginning of the journey back down to the water…not some kind of weird challenge that will probably end in a reverse climb down the ladder and embarrassment in front of some of your peers.

Whether you end up swimming because you jumped in…or because you fell in…either way, you’re going to get wet.

You may as well jump in and expect the best.

That’s my personal public pep talk for the morning.

I’m a third of the way up the ladder….and, I swear, this time I’m going to jump.