I had another weird dream last night.
We were at the hospital and Jenny was having another baby.
Or maybe she was having one of the other babies.
She just has each of the babies once…so it was confusing….but dreams flip back and forth some, so there’s no telling what was really going on.
In the dream, the staff was hurrying us out of the hospital….like they’d do at the Chinese Buffet when they were getting ready to switch over to the dinner menu.
They kept saying, “You better hurry…you’ll be charged for another day if you don’t get out of here in half an hour…”
We were hurrying.
In the meantime, I heard a skuffle and went out into the hall.
In the hallway, there was the older man with the shaky hands and the bad attitude who’d given Jenny her epidural, and he was fighting off this “secret agenty” looking guy who was pulling a big knife out of his sock.
I yelled, “HEY!!! YOU CAN’T DO THAT!!! THIS IS A HOSPITAL!!!”….and I grabbed the assassin and started swinging him against the wall until he stopped attacking.
Then I made the mistake of asking the crotchety old dude, “Where’s the best place to get a vasectomy?”
I don’t know why that was on my mind.
He said, “come on….” and soon we were on a bus to Columbia, SC.
“This doesn’t seem right…” I said. “We shouldn’t leave Jenny so soon…we need to go back…”
“She won’t miss you” he said…and then went back to trimming his fingernails.
When we got to Columbia, we all got off the full bus and shuffled into a clinic that looked like something out of a science fiction movie, all white and brightly lit, the staff all in brilliant white, endless rooms and total silence.
“I would have taken a better shower if I knew that I was going to…” I said.
“Shhhhhhhh.” said the staff “There will be time for questions later…”
They began hooking us up to a bunch of sensors that came down out of the ceiling like tentacles from the bottom of an octopus….and started getting us ready for the procedure.
“You know why I’m here, right!??!” I asked.
“Shhhhhhhh…there’ll be a time for that later…for now, just relax…you’re in good hands…”
“I really do need to get back to Jenny…I think that this was a mistake…”
“Shhhhhhhh…there’ll be a time for that later…for now, just relax…you’re in good hands…” they said again.
This was feeling more and more like a mistake. I wished that I’d never talked to that old dude. This was a lot scarier than I ever imagined the “V” word being…even in my wildest dreams.
I woke up before they started really getting into the meat of the situation.
Thank goodness that I can wake up from some of this weirdness.
No wonder Jenny tries to avoid hearing my weird dreams if she can.
I must have some anxieties somewhere deep in my psyche that come out in my dreams?
Who am I kidding? It’s all a pretty shallow pond…anxiety scum just floating on top….ready to skim off if I need some good material next time I fall asleep and feel like dreaming.
I still don’t know about these brightly lit clinics…that seemed pretty scary.
Maybe that’s how the aliens take over?!!! Mass “V” clinics?!!! Maybe that’s what the “V” stood for in that scary old miniseries about the aliens?!!!
Maybe I should dream less?