Jenny told me early on, “You’re not that easygoing.”
I always thought that I was a pretty tolerant, mellow dude….taking life as it came, always a smile and a whistle on my lips, sitting back and watching it all go by with a bemused expression.
What I probably was….in a reality visible only to those outside of my personal circle of delusion….was a hot-headed little repressed Viking wannabe who only thought he was easygoing.
I think that a good barometer of how easygoing you are is how angry you get when someone tells you that “you’re not easygoing.”
The big computer went down again last night.
When I say “big computer” I’m speaking of the old desktop tower that I use in the morning.
I’m typing this on a laptop that Jenny has.
It’s so nice.
The big plastic box that has all my stuff in it did that “MBR” thing again.
I should have known.
And then…in a moment of panic when I was trying to fix the really slow internet connection, the router got screwed up so nobody in the house has any wireless internet today.
Do you know how angry it makes me to sit on the phone waiting for a help desk in India (they are GREAT….VERY PATIENT…IT’S NOT ONE OF THOSE THINGS WHERE A STUPID AMERICAN COMPLAINS THAT SOMEONE REALLY SMART AND KIND AND PATIENT HAS A DIFFERENT ACCENT THAN THEY DO) ….and the recording before the live person talks to me comes on and says, “Did you know that you can reach us on the World Wide Web at….” when I’m calling because I can’t get on the internet?
Gadssssssss…..I hate that.
So….between the big box crashing with all my bits and bytes floating around somewhere inside….and the router thing, and being really tired, and getting ready to buy some property and spend some money….I was kind of tense.
I was trying to work towards a zen-like moment….but I was kind of tense.
So I laid there quietly in bed until my tension woke Jenny up.
She was already exhausted from being up with the little kids off and on at night for about 3 weeks….but she stayed up and visited with me some.
I don’t remember what we talked about…but I bet that it was pretty darn deep.
Before we finally fell asleep….before Nate came in after he’d had a weird dream and woke us back up…I realized that it’s a lot easier to be a misinformed zen-master when everything is rolling my way and I have nothing to be upset about.
I can be a pretty calm character when nobody’s “harshing my buzz”.
I guess that the real zen master is the one who can stay cool when the black box freezes up and the things inside are never to be seen again.
Or, when they don’t get enough sleep….whether it’s on a nice mattress or on a bed of nails is irrelevant.
I’m not a zen master.
I’m not a Viking.
I’m just a cranky Norwegian who delivers the mail….and my computer is broken.