I don’t know how many times I’ve listened to this song….but never this version.
This version is from a concert that David Wilcox gave just a little way up the road from our house….at a retreat center called Tigg’s Pond….this past December.
I couldn’t sleep last night.
That’s not a cry for sympathy….lots of people can’t sleep some nights….but I couldn’t sleep last night, and in spite of any empathy I can usually try to pull together for someone else’s situation, this morning all I can think is “I’M THE ONE WHO’S TIRED”.
Of course, that’s not really true….there’s lots of people who are tired….but from inside my shell, I’m the one I notice.
I think that when you can’t sleep with an empty mind….well, that’s a thing, for sure….but when you can’t sleep with a mind swirling with defeat and comparison and regret and resignation…that’s something else entirely.
That’s a bad reason to not be sleeping….
It’s hard enough to have your head full of that kind of stuff when you’re fully awake….but when you’re trying to drift off to someplace better….someplace easier….you shouldn’t be thinking about stuff like that.
The gift in all of it, I suppose, is that after drinking something hot….and watching some bad infomercials…..and trying to fill your head with something different….something to get you to a different place….your body eventually says, “OK….that’s enough….lay down….just lay down….” ….and you do….when you’re too tired not to listen to your body anymore.
Now another morning is here….another chance to do something more productive about the things that I worry about than just lay in bed and…. worry.
There’s always something better than worrying….and giving up on dreams doesn’t get anything closer to what I want them to be.
Good sleep is sure a gift.
“I could no more stop dreaming than I could make them all come true….”