I run early in the morning….when it’s still dark….so the only thing that I have to be nervous about are the cars that occasionally pass me and blind me with their headlights.
That….and the snakes I can’t see and might step on….or the rabid bears….or some maniac homeless guy who’s hiding in the woods and who waits to swoop out of the trees and steal my identity.
That’s about all that I have to be nervous about….that I can think of.
It’s mostly the irritation of my night vision being interrupted by the blazing headlights, though.
This morning was brighter than usual….and as I made my way towards the little church on our road that’s about a quarter of the way into my “journey”, I kept getting the feeling that a car was getting ready to roll up on me.
No car ever came.
Eventually, I looked behind me and realized that what I thought were distant headlights was really only the big full moon over my shoulder.
It was that bright.
That was kind of funny….what was an irritation or something to anticipate in a negative way…an interruption to my peace and quiet….the car that was sure to pass me and make me nervous about….whatever? I don’t really know….(I’m just hyping it up for the sake of making the blog more EXCITING)….what was a negative thing…suddenly became something that was so beautiful and AWESOME (now there’s an overused word…..like “THAT SANDWICH WAS AWESOME!!”)….that I almost wanted to stop fulfilling some weak OCD disorder and walk for a while instead of doing what I was calling “running”.
My mind is a funny (to me) thing.
I’m afraid of the things that, if I just turned around or looked at it from the right angle, wouldn’t be scary.
I’m good at scaring myself.
Now, I’m not some kind of scaredy cat.
I’m not afraid of much.
But….I structure my life in a way that I don’t really come into contact with situations that might make me afraid.
I guess that we’re all like that.
I guess that what I’m thinking is that I avoid things that, like turning around to see something beautiful instead of keeping the “blinders” on and wondering when the car was going to hit me, might make my life better if I wasn’t nervous about taking the next step towards something different (i.e. “potentially scary”) and probably better.
It was the MOON this morning….and if I hadn’t gotten up a little bit earlier….or turned around to see what was following me….I wouldn’t have seen it the way I got to see it earlier today.
I’d miss it.
How much of what I’m ever nervous about actually “is”?
Aw, what the heck? A three-mile run gives you a lot of time to think about wacky stuff.
Whether the moon’s a sliver or full of light…..there’s always time for wacky thoughts on an early morning run
Who’s afraid of a wacky thought?