I hope that my children trust that I love them.
I was thinking about that on the mail route….thinking about “conditions”….thinking about all the reasons that parents become estranged from their children….or present a face to their children that makes the kids question their place in their parent’s hearts.
I don’t know why I got on that subject.
I know I was thinking about things that were a lot less interesting only moments before….like why red licorice that’s a year out of date gets hard.
I am sure that my thoughts were even more random and goofy only moments before that.
I guess that “trust” is different from saying, “I hope that my children know that I love them.”
“Know” is kind of conditional. If you keep all the conditions stable, of course people are going to know that you love them.
If you do all the right things….pay attention at the right time…give the proper gifts in season…exhibit the outward signs of affection and appreciation….then, surely, these people….these people in your life that you are supposed to care about….are going to know that you love them.
“Knowing” isn’t so hard if people work at it a little.
But “trust” goes a little deeper.
Trust is there even if the outward appearance falls apart for a while.
It’s a silly game of semantics….”trust” and “know”….but, even if I keep my end of the equation together all the time….and “knowing” is never in question….I hope that my kids will always trust that I love them.
I’ve heard people say, “Oh….no….my parents would disown me if….” when they’re talking about a love based on fulfilled expectations.
There is a lot of that going on in the world.
I’m guilty of it in the little things.
I WILL CUT A FAVORITE RESTAURANT OFF (!!!) IF THEY BRING ME A BAD MEAL.
I can be a hard case if I need to be.
But when it comes to the really important people in my life, I should be a little less apt to go in that direction.
When it comes to my kids I should never go in that direction.
Of course, if you want to really open up a can of worms, compare our relationships with the people in our lives to our intended relationship with God.
No wonder we have a hard time figuring God out.
We can’t sort out the relationships at hand.
We sure can’t figure out our relationship with God.
Best to keep that one kind of abstract ….or, maybe, over intellectualize it.
If you can’t understand something, give it some distance.
I don’t know that I’ll do the right thing most of the time.
I can be pretty cranky, sometimes….kind of off-putting….so I might give the impression of something less than crazed and joyful affection.
Man….I do hope that my family trusts that I love them.
No matter what….that they trust that I love them.
Knowing that might get me through.