I had a dream last night.
I think that I dream every night…but this is one that I remembered when I woke up.
In my dream, I was back at school.
I knew that I had classes to go to…somewhere….sometime….and I knew that I was missing them….but I couldn’t find the people who could help me navigate.
I couldn’t figure out how to….start figuring out…what to do.
Everyone else seemed so established and connected to it all.
They knew what to do.
They had the compass inside of them that I wondered if I’d ever had access to.
I drove and walked…faster and faster….and all I could find were people who told me that I better figure it all out.
All I had access to were the people who were willing to tell me how much I was missing.
I never did find out what to do….and, when I woke up, I was relieved to know that it was all just a dream.
It didn’t matter.
It wasn’t real.
My dream was over when I woke up.
I can’t navigate someone else’s life.
I can tell them, “Yeah….I’ve been to that island. I’ve been there….” but the sea is always changing….no cloud repeats itself….and I can’t tell them the way to go.
And, too, I can’t ever know what it must feel like for someone else to be lost….to grab onto anything that feels like it is something familiar….to navigate to the things that might bring some comfort.
I know what my personal version of lost feels like….but I can’t walk in anyone’s unfamiliar shoes.
I can’t get out of myself long enough to feel that much empathy.
That was a bad dream I had last night….and, in some ways, a good one.
I hope that when I’m on the boat and adrift at sea that I’ll have someone who loves me along to share being lost with me.
I hope that I’m sensitive enough to climb up into someone else’s boat when they’re trying to find their way.
How lost could you be if someone who loves you is on the boat….too?
How lost could you be?
“Riversong” A Fine Frenzy