more princess

Nate starts school today.

He’s going to a school that goes year round this year, so today is his first day even though it seems kind of early.

When I take him to school, we listen to the radio and tune it to a “kid’s channel”…..so this song is the kind of stuff that we hear.

It’s lucky for me that so much of it is really funny.

I crank this song up when it comes on.

It’s pretty hilarious…..to me.

It feels kind of weird to be going to school this early….but I guess that he gets some long breaks at different times, so I suppose that we’ll get used to it.

It’ll give me a chance to start listening to songs like this again when I’m driving to work.

That’s not so bad if all of them are as good as this one……

bulge

blood-pressure-cuff

I checked the oil in the Caravan when we stopped for bagels yesterday.

It was the first time I checked it since we got back from the big “Canada Loop” and it was down about a quart.

There must be a leak somewhere on the back side of the engine….the side that’s hard to see.

So….when we were running our other errands, I stopped at the auto parts store and bought a couple of quarts of oil….and put one of them in before we left the parts store parking lot.

Holy Smokes!

What’s that bulge in the upper radiator hose?

That wasn’t there before.

It looked like the part you squeeze on a blood pressure cuff.

So…I went back in to the parts store and bought a radiator hose…..and put it on when we got back home and the engine had cooled off.

Man….that was fortuitous to see that.

I’m glad we have an oil leak….I might not have seen that hose if I hadn’t been checking for another problem.

We went some crazy places on our trip up North.

We drove in some heavy traffic in unfamiliar surroundings and circumstances.

We actually paid some TOLLS.

We had to pay to get to continue on our way.

And….that hose didn’t burst and leave us stranded anywhere on the journey.

That would have been horrible.

HORRIBLE.

That hose was one thing that I never worried about….because I didn’t know that it might be a problem.

If you can’t see a problem, you don’t really worry about it too much.

That hose didn’t burst…but it sure did bulge yesterday.

Bulge.

That’s a weird word….”bulge”.

What a blessing to see a problem when we can actually have some power to fix it.

What a blessing when a small problem gives me a chance to fix it before it becomes a major emergency.

I hope that I notice some problems that are real before they have a chance to blow up in my face.

Thank goodness for “bulges”…..they warn me of the bursting to come.

Problems I can see are fixable.

May as well be thankful for “fixable”.

 

 

quit noticing

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It hit me this morning that if all you do is wax semi-eloquently about how important it is to “notice” what’s happening as your children grow up, you are probably missing most of it.

Of course, I’m “in it”.

We are a unit and I am the HUB, man.

I’m the hub…..I’m in it… full on.

(That’s the ego talking, of course. I know who the “hub” is when Sparrow yells for “Mommy”.)

I think that if you talk about something a lot, then people think that you really feel deeply about the subject.

Spirituality….civic pride….the fairness of the monetary system….or, maybe, even family…..the more you talk about it, the more committed to the idea you seem.

That’s goofy.

What’s that called? “Lip service”?

You live your life, you take care of your family, and you let them know that they are loved….without question or condition…..they are loved.

What could be confusing or hard about that?

In our situation….in our family….we have a pretty big spread between the first two children and these little guys.

Because of that spread, I can speak from some sort of experience when I talk about “paying attention” or missing a moment.

The children grow up fast.

The thing about paying close attention when the children are little (or big, actually…..I should pay close attention to everyone in my family) is that, whether or not I notice everything doesn’t necessarily mean that I remember everything.

I guess that’s OK, though.

You remember what you can.

Maybe that’s why there’s two parents in most cases….so that the other can fill in the memory holes.

You can write about everything and paint a picture of patience and understanding….but it’s only the day in and day out “real behavior” that makes things any good.

All we have are our actions in the end.

All these words may as well be clouds evaporating in the heat of a long summer day.

It’s just the actions that really matter.

I heard this song the other day and really like it….by Canadian singer/songwriter Chris Luedecke, who records under the name “Old Man Luedecke”.  It says what I’m waxing around pretty clearly….

“the early days” Old Man Luedecke

walk the hills

OK….here’s the deal.

I don’t run fast and I don’t run far.

I get up in the morning….run 1.8 miles to the end of the road….turn around and run the flats and walk the hills on my way back to the house.

Of course, that’s what I do RIGHT NOW.

JUST GIVE ME A MONTH OR TWO TO TRAIN AND……I’LL BE RUNNING UP SOME CRAZY STUFF JUST LIKE THIS GUY.

Nahhhhhh….probably not.

I don’t believe that’s something that’s going to happen.

How could I justify running all over the place when I have important stuff going on at home?

I don’t believe I could do it.

That’s the only reason I don’t run up crazy mountains.

They need me at home.

Here’s something that I do believe is really going to happen: the faster I run, the sooner I get home.

The sooner I get home, the better.

And….another “besides”…..I could never be like this guy BECAUSE I TALK ENGLISH!!!

I TALK ENGLISH.

I get up every morning and run in the dark.

The faster I run, the farther I go.

I want to go far.

How hard could that be?

out there in the darkness

I don’t know about what I can’t see.

It’s dark when I run in the morning.

It’s a faith-run.

I suppose that the universe, with all its potential and promise, is not set up to harm me….and I run into what I can’t know.

I do this in spite of the smashed copperheads that I see on the blacktop in the daylight.

What I don’t know is out there can’t hurt me.

Now…..this video.

Maybe there’s a giant pitbull sleeping under one of the shadowed trees?

I don’t know.

But….I can’t add it to some paranoid catalog of potential disasters that I carry in my mental Rolodex.

I can’t do it.

I’d be frozen with fear if I remembered everything that’s ever harmed anyone….and took it all a little too personally.

I would be immobilized.

So…..I run in the night….the early morning night….when only a few cars pass me and, in their headlights, I know that it’s really all just “more of the same” around the black corners that I can see for a moment.

I don’t think that there are giant dogs waiting for me out there.

(Did you ever notice that, at first glance, a bear looks just like a weird overfed black chow? A bear might be out there….but a bear is not a dog. No matter how dark it gets…..a bear is never a dog.)

 

out “there”

This is what the good part of running is all about….just getting out someplace beautiful….running through the world.

This is a short documentary about a Scottish distance runner, Fiona Rennie, and her ultrarunning efforts.

It’s also about carrying on after having a brain hemorrhage.

The world is so big.

There is so much behind what we think we understand….just looking at the surface.

What a cool lady.

Keep running.

 

 

safe running

This was day number five in my effort to keep running in the mornings.

It’s easier to stop than it is to keep going.

I was thinking about this documentary as I plodded along….and since YouTube has a copy for streaming right now, I thought I’d throw it up here.

It’s on Netflix, too….so if you wanted to watch a better version…that might be the way to go.

The thing that brought this to mind was the thought that one of the main objectives, for me at least, in these early days of new running, is to “just not get hurt”.

I’m weak.

I’m not used to stressing my legs anymore.

My lungs are tired.

My heart needs to learn how to beat hard again.

So….I run with that in mind.

I don’t want to get hurt.

This documentary is about the Hemingway family….and the history of family problems they grew up with and each coped with in their own lives.

I carry baggage.

I carry baggage that I add to every day.

That’s crazy….but probably not uncommon.

This documentary is about all the efforts that Mariel Hemingway has made to understand her family history of mental illness and suicide….and how a person rises above that history.

Maybe when all is said and done, though, it could be that the main reason I wanted to watch it was for the scenes that took place in Ketchum, ID.

IDAHO!!!

Mentally sick or mentally well…..I wanna go….to IDAHO!!

And….I don’t want to get hurt running.

I want to run well…..and healthy.

hard rock

My wife’s family lives in a valley that’s surrounded by the San Juan mountains.

It is so beautiful out where they live.

This is a film not so much about running but about the people who support the runners.

There’s an ultrarunning event called the Hard Rock 100 out in Colorado….a 100 mile run through the mountains….where, high up in a pretty innaccessible location, these volunteers set up an aid station and assist the runners on the course.

I wonder, watching these clips of running events and remembering some of the ones that I’ve been at, if it’s not the community as much as the activity that is so interesting to me?

These guys seem like fun people to hang out with.

From my experience, though, it’s always the people who spend the most time outdoors who seem to be the most fun.

Something about being outside and “playing” makes for a fun person.

It was hard for my parents to get me inside for dinner when I was younger.

I was always outside playing.

Now, it seems like I’m inside most of the time.

It seems like we’re all inside….TV’d or tablet or laptop or Gameboy’d….inside must be where it’s going on…..“inside” is where I can watch a video about somebody doing something cool “outside”.

“Fun hogs” is what we call the people driving by with their bikes and kayaks….going somewhere to play in the outside.

We see them on our road all the time….so where we live must be a good destination for the fun hogs to concentrate….or congregate.

Having a camp right up the road must have something to do with it.

I’m running again…..really slowly and not very far….but it’s good to get out in the morning when it’s dark and no one seems to be up yet.

There is something about moving that feels good to me….hopeful or something.

It’s interesting to feel the soreness change to something….not so sore.

My oldest son’s birthday is today!

Happy birthday, Isaac!!

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guard

This was the “guard” outside a welding/art studio/antique shop we stopped at on our way back home after our Niagara Falls road trip this summer.

The shop was closed….but it had Optimus Prime to guard it…..(Nate will correct me, “THAT’S NOT OPTIMUS PRIME!! THAT’S NOT OPTIMUS PRIME!!!” when he gets up.)….so with a good guard like that, I suppose that everything was safe.

I guess this might have been in Vermont? Jenny will remember…..

Anyway…..the shop had all these welded sculptures out front ….made out of old car parts…..bits of other machines….and a lot of unidentifiable metal.

Just out in front of the shop.

Who is going to walk off with a Transformer that weighs 5 tons, anyway?

It was pretty cool….and a small regret that the studio/shop wasn’t open.

I wanted to talk to the guy who made all this stuff. (“Guy”? It could have been a “gal”, too. I wanted to talk to this amazing artist.)

That’s one of the things that’s so great about traveling….seeing things you haven’t seen before.

But, sometimes….it helps me see all the familiar things at home in a fresh light, too.

We just need to shake it all up every now and then.

It’s strange….when I’m home, I want to go…..and when I “go”…..sometimes all I can think about is getting back home.

I’m a hard one to satisfy.

Figuring out what you want….and then sticking to the plan…..is kind of hard.

Even if you’re a grownup.

THIS GIANT ROBOT IS PRETTY COOL, THOUGH…..HUH?!!!!!

Cliffy

cliffy movie poster

We watched this movie….or, I should say, I watched this movie… the other day.

I think that my family watched some of it as they migrated through the room I was in.

I guess the movie may not be for everyone.

If you look it up on IMDB, it says that it was a made for TV movie….and I guess that it looks like it probably was….but I enjoyed it.

It tells the story of Australian Cliff Young, a sheepherder who enters and (spoiler) wins an Australian ultrarunning event.

Because he spent most of his time caring for his family’s sheep, he’d often be up for days at a time, chasing them through the fields in his gumboots.

That’s kind of an exciting description of something that might be kind of boring.

I could have written that better.

cliffy running

Those aren’t sheep.

The sheep don’t look like that in Australia.

The water may spin in the toilet a different direction going down…..but the sheep don’t look like cows in Australia.

Anyway….the dude shuffled along….but shuffled along without stopping….and he won the race….all 544 miles of the race….by 10 hours.

That’s a lot of shuffling.

This was a good movie….and an inspiring story.

I think that it’s on Amazon Prime…..